its been two years....

its been two years since... since i changed my phone. ha! the longest yet. hahaha. very happy to get my new toy. glad that i didnt decide to buy iPhone 4.. its just expensive, paid apps, over hyped.. or maybe i'm just an iphone hater. hahaha.

back to Miri.. back down the memory lane..

back to Miri... as much i hate to admit, i love to be back here.. and i hate it too... flashes of long gone memories plays back at me like a projected movie on the windshield of your car while u drive.. love being here.. and yet hate what it does to my soul... once, long before the big bang.. lol.. i'd give away an arm and a leg just to be here... once... but now, i'd give the same so i didnt come here in the first place...

well..the memories dont do Miri its justice.. i love the place.. maybe someday.. when i come back, IF i come back, i'd be here for vacation with ma very own family...

lately... i'm just lost..

maybe i'm just lost somewhere in my own brain.. the construct of my own fantasy and madness.. i'm lost form this world even when conversing with others, my mind floats to the imaginarium abyss... cant seem to concentrate on my work, my life.. maybe its the holiday fever, or maybe i'm just tired.. tired of this hectic life chasing shadows of other ppls aims... i need a breather..

2nd September 2011

it'll determine the next stage in my life... i'm getting nervous, yet i'm happy about it.. its my turn.. after many others.. cant wait..

tough..

its just difficult.. to get a hang of things... hold to much you'll end up hurting yourself.. some things are just not meant to be.. easier said then done...

i am my own enemy

no matter how challenges come by, we will be offered divine assistance.. yeah.. we all do.. so am i... no matter how battered bruised and bleed, in the end it'll get better... i am my own enemy.. my mind often tries to drag me to an emotional hell hole.. i wont give in.. there's always light at the end of the tunnel... my escape? tattoos, nature, ppl i love and just being plain alive is more than enough.... whenever things come by, i'll let my heart lead... we are who we are.. and we are our own enemies...

never regret, never look back

some things i've done i regret, some things i dont.. some things i wish i didnt know, some things i wish i knew earlier... some things i iwsh i didnt say, some things i wish i say it out loud... sometimes i wish i didnt give in, other times i wish i did for just a little while longer...